my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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