you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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