Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize