Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
