Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
