im having a threesome with these popsicles
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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