Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
