I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
