I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
