Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize