i barfeds in our rink
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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