put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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