I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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