Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
