You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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