I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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