i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
