I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize