his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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