After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My bed smells like the plague
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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