I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You were trust falling into bushes
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
