I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
