if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
