just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
