I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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