wrigley field is MILF paradise
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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