He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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