she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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