Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
