and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
