I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize