waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
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