i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
