There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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