I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
is it fun? or sober?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
