Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
