fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
