oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
