this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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