who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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