Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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