does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
