I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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