how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
