Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
