But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
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He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
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I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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