Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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