apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
