You're my little dorito
well I can't set my house on fire every night
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
