Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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