Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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