So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
