you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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