My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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