I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
