Quick, to the slutcave!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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