im having a threesome with these popsicles
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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