So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There are leaves in my underwear?
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