Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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