I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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