He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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