So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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