just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This house was built for laser tag.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize