I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
