we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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