We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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