how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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