we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
