the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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