So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
