so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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